About tehz princess



My name is Jules and I'm an incorrigible fatteh.
I like movies, serial killers, Daniel Craig, ankle booties, pornography, thrifting and dresses.
Am also a freelance writer/copywriter/editor.

Contact me at suckeggs@gmail.com anytime,
but ask a stupid question and I'll punch you.

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4 November 09
“ I am going to create an environment that is so toxic, no one will want to be a part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple, and I salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing living could grow there for a hundred years. You know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs.
—

I’ve done nothing else but watch and rewatch episodes of Glee for the past two days. :/

Tags: glee
3 November 09
It is now 7.39 in the a.m. Just spent the past seven hours watching Glee and my verdict? It’s fucking tops. :) I emerged from the marathon feeling light and happy, as though I could find a Finn/Puck of my own and dance with him all night. It’s just so ridiculously feel good. And I especially like how it touches on real issues that even I remember having to deal with - homosexuality (maybe a little bit of this), pregnancy (definitely not this) identity searching, unrequited infatuations, being bullied into conforming, low self esteem, etc - and addresses them in a much more realistic way than say … … … a certain Disney franchise that made Zac Efron, who is incidentally MY AGE, one of the richest motherfuckers in the world. Admittedly, the show’s kinda gh3ylordz. But dudes, the cast is really fucking talented so it’s totally worth the gay points. I love Kurt the most! That little gay boy is just awesome, especially when he danced to Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies on the football field before taking the kick HAHAHHA BEST SCENE I’VE EVER SEEN. And dun dun dunnnn, Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester? IT’S GOT TO BE ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS IN TELEVISION HISTORY! Now I’ll leave you with some of her best quotes and mind you, it’s only been 8 episodes. Can’t wait to see what other quotable Sue-speaks (original term, thanks) the writers will be able to come up with in the second half of the season. I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me. I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness. You think this is hard? I’m living with Hepatitis, that’s hard! I’m going to ask you to smell your armpits.That’s the smell of failure and it’s stinking up my office. I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat; and then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face. You’re dealing with children. They need to be terrified. It’s like mother’s milk to them. Not everyone is gonna have the walnuts to take a pro-littering stance. But I will not rest until every inch of our fair state is covered in garbage. Courtesy of Sue Sylvester, that top dog!

It is now 7.39 in the a.m.

Just spent the past seven hours watching Glee and my verdict?

It’s fucking tops. :)

I emerged from the marathon feeling light and happy, as though I could find a Finn/Puck of my own and dance with him all night. It’s just so ridiculously feel good. And I especially like how it touches on real issues that even I remember having to deal with - homosexuality (maybe a little bit of this), pregnancy (definitely not this) identity searching, unrequited infatuations, being bullied into conforming, low self esteem, etc - and addresses them in a much more realistic way than say … … … a certain Disney franchise that made Zac Efron, who is incidentally MY AGE, one of the richest motherfuckers in the world.

Admittedly, the show’s kinda gh3ylordz. But dudes, the cast is really fucking talented so it’s totally worth the gay points. I love Kurt the most! That little gay boy is just awesome, especially when he danced to Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies on the football field before taking the kick HAHAHHA BEST SCENE I’VE EVER SEEN. And dun dun dunnnn, Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester? IT’S GOT TO BE ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS IN TELEVISION HISTORY!

Now I’ll leave you with some of her best quotes and mind you, it’s only been 8 episodes. Can’t wait to see what other quotable Sue-speaks (original term, thanks) the writers will be able to come up with in the second half of the season.

I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me.

I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.

You think this is hard? I’m living with Hepatitis, that’s hard!

I’m going to ask you to smell your armpits.That’s the smell of failure and it’s stinking up my office.

I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat; and then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face.

You’re dealing with children. They need to be terrified. It’s like mother’s milk to them.

Not everyone is gonna have the walnuts to take a pro-littering stance. But I will not rest until every inch of our fair state is covered in garbage.

Courtesy of Sue Sylvester, that top dog!

2 November 09
I’m fully aware of the stigma that will be, from now on, associated with me because of this shamefully posted photo. But god daaaaaaayam, all I want to do is ravish him. If I ever get the chance to see him on the streets of Melbourne during his New Moon promo tour, I’ll just strip naked, get on all fours and crawl backwards towards him so that he’ll get the full view of my awaiting vagina AND BONUS ANUS! :) Awkward.

I’m fully aware of the stigma that will be, from now on, associated with me because of this shamefully posted photo. But god daaaaaaayam, all I want to do is ravish him. If I ever get the chance to see him on the streets of Melbourne during his New Moon promo tour, I’ll just strip naked, get on all fours and crawl backwards towards him so that he’ll get the full view of my awaiting vagina AND BONUS ANUS! :)

Awkward.

Tags: boy crushes
1 November 09

Disembodied deejays clapping to the beat

Soundbite: Claymore (Joe & Will Ask?)

GAIZ SRSLY U HV 2 LISTEN 2 JOE & WILL ASK? DEY R DA BEZZ FARKING HELL I LUB DEM SEW MUCH DAT I CAN’T EVEN SPELL PROPERLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

To emphasise just how awes this London electro/techno duo drops their shit, I’m putting up one of my favourite tracks for all to download and experience multiple aural orgasms. Remember, right-click+save horzzzz: Listen to Mongozo! here.

Anyway, some long overdue photos taken at random:















Well, I’m finally done for the semester. Even submitting The Essay Of Death was a bitch because our printer ran out of ink so I had to run to the Pick&Save downstairs, where it cost me AUD4.30 to print 14 pages. Then I had to run to school, because submission deadline was at 5.30p.m. and I’d left Pick&Save at 6.15. -_- Oh, and did I mention that I’d accidentally spilled water on my phone earlier in the day so for the rest of the evening, my phone FUCKED ME IN THE ANUS and I couldn’t type SHIT.

Exciting way to end the semester, I think. Running about here and there, might’ve even lost some weight in the frantic process! (Note to self: Highly unlikely; please stop living a lie in which every movement you make causes you to lose 17,000 calories, thanks.) And yeh, my phone suddenly decided to resume working halfway through the night. Love my BB Bold, it’s done nothing to upset me in its entire year’s worth of service. Who’d ever choose a shitty, common and too-slick-for-its-own-good iPhone when you can have the class and sophistication that automatically comes with a BB Bold? Hand the phone to a homeless man and I guarantee you, that hobo will magically transform into a lean, muscular, chiseled God of a man in all his naked glory. :) Or … he’ll just run away with your phone.

So I’m just going to sleep now. These past few days have brought with them a lot for me to think about, and my brain is just so exhausted right now. G’night, world.

30 October 09
stepliana: The frequency that this is shown on television is truly the greatest thing about Halloween. Wish I could watch this now. I loved Bette Midler in the film, she was just so kickass. And a young Thora Birch, that adorable thing. And a pre-SATC Sarah Jessica Parker. And omg, Sean Murray as Thackery Binx! I distinctly remember wanting to marry him when I was 11. T’was love at first viewing.

stepliana:

The frequency that this is shown on television is truly the greatest thing about Halloween.

Wish I could watch this now. I loved Bette Midler in the film, she was just so kickass. And a young Thora Birch, that adorable thing. And a pre-SATC Sarah Jessica Parker. And omg, Sean Murray as Thackery Binx! I distinctly remember wanting to marry him when I was 11. T’was love at first viewing.

Reblogged: stepliana

Posted: 8:45 AM
Sean Morris is one of my favourite illustrators ever. Found out about him back in Perth two years ago, when the Williams Street Collective shops were giving away free designed cards and Sean Morris was one of the featured artists. There’s just something so graceful and ethereal about his drawings that always lures me into a temporary state of serenity. And it makes me happy too, so a level up for Sean! Also, I’m finally done with The Essay Of Death. My eyes have shed their weight’s worth of blood and tears and I swear, right now, I’m seeing my research texts prints everyfuckingwhere. :( Like I turn to look at my wall but instead of white-washed, I see black words appearing and disappearing rapidly. That’s my cue to get some rest but I can’t seem to close my now-anorexic eyes. At the rate I’m going - skipping meals and sleep - I won’t be surprised if I wake up one day looking like Christian Bale in The Machinist (2004). :/ Except with a vagina.

Sean Morris is one of my favourite illustrators ever. Found out about him back in Perth two years ago, when the Williams Street Collective shops were giving away free designed cards and Sean Morris was one of the featured artists. There’s just something so graceful and ethereal about his drawings that always lures me into a temporary state of serenity. And it makes me happy too, so a level up for Sean!

Also, I’m finally done with The Essay Of Death. My eyes have shed their weight’s worth of blood and tears and I swear, right now, I’m seeing my research texts prints everyfuckingwhere. :( Like I turn to look at my wall but instead of white-washed, I see black words appearing and disappearing rapidly. That’s my cue to get some rest but I can’t seem to close my now-anorexic eyes. At the rate I’m going - skipping meals and sleep - I won’t be surprised if I wake up one day looking like Christian Bale in The Machinist (2004). :/

Except with a vagina.

Posted: 1:41 AM

Dum dah dee dum

Also, you know you’re definitely homesick x6458945267298727985 when you reach the end of blog entries about Singapore (like this one about Lady Melbourne’s recent trip down) and find yourself either a) near tears or b) suddenly missing everything there is about Singapore. :/ I got both for a while, during a break from The Essay Of Death, so I must be homesick to the power of 6458945267298727985 + another 1million more multiples.

To add more fuel to the goddamn raging fire, my essay is entitled Violent Pornography and its social effects on Singaporean heterosexual males so everything I’ve seen from about 2p.m. (time I started the essay) till 11p.m. (time I finished the essay, 1,500 words too long) has been about Singapore.

Except these SUPER FUCKING ADORABLE BOOTS WHICH I KNOW I AM TOTALLY GETTING.

I’ve been staring at them for the longest time, constantly going back to the bookmarked page to decide if I really ought to get it or not. The AUD80 price tag is highly tempting yet I don’t want to compromise my shopping ethics because years ago (before I became this ultimate budget shopper), after making a disastrous purchase when Topshop first opened in Singapore, I’d swore never to buy anything on full retail price and/or above 60 bucks. And I’ve been quite proud of my strict adherence to the rule - the most I’ve EVER spent on anything I wear was AUD49, on a vintage dress from Currency in Fitzroy. So … this has been quite a dilemma that I’ve had to juggle, along with a ju-llion (Fat Jules + 1 trillion = 1 jullion) sentences about degrading pornography and necrophilia and bizarro sexual fetishes running across my brain.

But I’m going to buy it. Come pretty baby, you will soon be mine.

Time to cut 1,500 words out. Anyone wants to do it for me? I promise a free bj.

Posted: 1:02 AM
(via stepliana) WUT WUT WHUUUUUUUUT?! IS THERE GOING TO BE A RYAN HOWARD/KELLY KAPOOR WEDDING THAT I DON’T KNOW ABOUT? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? WUUUUUUUT.

(via stepliana)

WUT WUT WHUUUUUUUUT?! IS THERE GOING TO BE A RYAN HOWARD/KELLY KAPOOR WEDDING THAT I DON’T KNOW ABOUT? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? WUUUUUUUT.

Reblogged: stepliana

28 October 09
What I’d give for a nice sunny day spent sitting on a grassy knoll with a tub of lemon sorbet, some cold watermelon slices and a large tumbler of authentic iced lemon tea. :/ God, I want to get out so badly but alas! I am stuck at home, alternating between rewatching episodes of Little Britain for the 87th time and taking a stab at the Mount Everest of essays sitting on my desk. It’s been depressing. And that has been further compounded by waves of bad news punctuating my evenings. :/ Just found out about the untimely demise of a friend from Perth and even though we didn’t hang out much, it’s always shocking to hear about things like this, especially to people you know. We weren’t close but whenever we bumped into each other around, he’d never fail to say hi and try to strike up a conversation with me, no matter how cranky I was. It’s clear that he’d touched so many, even acquaintances like me. I just wish I could’ve been at the memorial to pay my respects to a really great person who, simply put, made everyone smile. R.I.P Lawrance. Hope you’re in a better place now. Suddenly, the idea of death is getting too close for comfort.

What I’d give for a nice sunny day spent sitting on a grassy knoll with a tub of lemon sorbet, some cold watermelon slices and a large tumbler of authentic iced lemon tea. :/ God, I want to get out so badly but alas! I am stuck at home, alternating between rewatching episodes of Little Britain for the 87th time and taking a stab at the Mount Everest of essays sitting on my desk. It’s been depressing.

And that has been further compounded by waves of bad news punctuating my evenings. :/ Just found out about the untimely demise of a friend from Perth and even though we didn’t hang out much, it’s always shocking to hear about things like this, especially to people you know. We weren’t close but whenever we bumped into each other around, he’d never fail to say hi and try to strike up a conversation with me, no matter how cranky I was. It’s clear that he’d touched so many, even acquaintances like me. I just wish I could’ve been at the memorial to pay my respects to a really great person who, simply put, made everyone smile. R.I.P Lawrance. Hope you’re in a better place now.

Suddenly, the idea of death is getting too close for comfort.

26 October 09

Doing work in your panties is liberating as hell

Soundbite: Radio Controlled (Zombie Nation)

Downloaded some preeeeeeeetty fuckin’ top mixes the other night. Am in the midst of sorting through them now, but I’ll put up a couple of good ones here soonish. Lemme wade through this murky sea of assignments first, plzkthnx. :/ Srsly too much work eh, my brain is bursting. Just finished my Eyewitness Ethics essay (hip hip hurrahx3) and I can’t even get a fucking break because I’ve still got to redo the development editing assignment which I got 50% for HAHAHAHAAHAH behold my first ever grade below a Distinction in the past three years. Yes, I really am was quite a nerd.

Haven’t been out in the sunlight much in the past few days due to the assignment rush. :( Arthur had only managed to drag me out on Saturday and I was in such a good mood, dressing up for the warm weather and shopping (got some awesome biscotti for cheap and new storage boxes for my growing-at-mutant-rate jewellery collection) and sitting at the city library grass patch with passionfruit sorbet in hand and generally just enjoying being out. It’s ridiculous. I’ve cooped myself up to the extent that I actually miss being amongst … plebians. -_- Wow. This has been a new low for me, ladies and gentlemen.

Am just looking forward to the end of the month. Assignment rush will be over, I can start leisurely looking for a job, waking up at 4p.m. will not cause feelings of guilt and contrition to arise … sounds good to me.

Anyway, because I r procrasinat0rz (though not as bad as Tham, tsktsk), I just thought to looked through General Pants Co.’s site and fuckkk, they do carry some really siiick stuff. Was particularly interested in the sunglasses, prolly because summer’s coming and I feel the need to shield my enchanting, hypnotic eyes.


Colab - Corbu [AUD199]


Sabre - Die Hippy (in Tort) [AUD139.95]


Sabre/The Cassette Society Collaboration [AUD149.95]


Sabre - The Dude (in Yellow Flower) [AUD139.95]

Pictures from General Pants Co.

Not bad eh? Am very much feeling the Corbu and The Dude in Yellow Flower … … … and especially crushing on the latter. Aaaarggghhh look at the floral print on the frames and the contrasting vibrant blue underside ahhhhhhhh how can you stand not buying this kdhrgkanuivna!1!11!

Oh yes. The price tag. Thanks for raining on my parade. :9

Anyway, so I then moved on to checking out Sabre’s website and daaaaaaaaaa-yuuummm, they’ve got some pretty fuckin’ sweet shit in stock. I’d like to meet their designers and give them each a nice sloppy kiss on the forehead because some of their sunglasses are pure genius, like omfgmypantiesarewet type of genius.


Pictures from Sabre.

(Clockwise from top left: Poolside in Zebra, Madness in Black with interchangeable white and teal arms, Poolside in Checkers and Bikini Kill in Teal and Clear.)

Looks like I have a thing for teal, must be Min’s influence. Spending a year with her yelling in your ear about how teal is such an awesome colour must’ve conditioned me into favouring it as well.

Okay yeh, fuck. What was supposed to be a short update spiralled into some online shopping-enabler post. Don’t read my blog, kids! I’m the devil to your bank accounts! :( Back to work now. Sienzzzzzzzzz.