Dear Jules, plz suck some indie cockz.

Sleep > Beats

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 07:51:00 +1100

My experience with ZoukOut 2009 was pretty all right; nothing really exciting went on. Just as last year, the pre-drinks boot party at the carpark surpassed any second spent on the beach. -_- At least I didn’t get fucking waaaaaaasted though, can still remember 80% of the night so that’s not half bad right? Caught Tiga, Miss Kitten & The Hacker, Martin Solveig and a little bit of The Martinez Brothers, and am relatively sure that I spent a good hour just dancing non-stop during Martin Solveig’s set because he was so fucking awes.

Good night? Sure, I had fun with my friends. But I wouldn’t call it excellent or kickass or … or any other exaggerated adjectives. Maybe that’s because I had to run before Armin at five, and everybody’s hailing it one of his best sets EVER. I mean, how the fuck can a DJ spin until Ade sprained her ankle?! -_- Tak glam lah, fuck!

(via Moo Ang)

Only took a handful of photos that night, most of which aren’t even good for posting. And there must be something wrong (or right) with my camera because if you’ll take the time to look at the first two of the four last photos, you will notice that Sam Tan Cheebye’s face is in severe need of reconstructive surgery in both pictures. Especially photo numero uno:

INDEEEEEEEEEEEEED! :D

Anyway. While on the cab home from Sentosa at four that morning, I just suddenly felt super old, like I really shouldn’t be part of shenanigans like this anymore. The novelty’s completely worn off now and I no longer feel the compulsion to go out in the middle of the fucking night to drink and spend money on temporary pleasures. -_- Staying home, watching movies and making the sex is simply a bajillion (trillion xinfinity) times more appealing to me now.

So it’s no more ZoukOuts for me, dudes. Consider this fatty semi-retired from the heavy partying scene. In the words of the great Roger Murtaugh, I’m gettin’ too old for this shit!

Gaissssss, I think I know what to do with my next tattoo now....

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:54:00 +1100

Gaissssss, I think I know what to do with my next tattoo now. :)

This dude named Thomas Brodahl started a flickr page called Tattooday, which basically has him drawing/writing a lyric or phrase on his arm. It’s just like how I used to doodle on my hands and thighs in Uni whenever I was bored, but that he can ACTUALLY DRAW. -_- So anyway, I was looking through the flickr page and some of them make for pretty fuckin’ sickkkk tattoo ideas, while others are just pretty to look at.

To be honest, I’m kinda interested at looking into the cost and preparation of inking the I climbed the tree to see the world one. That quote somehow reminds me of John Keating from Dead Poets Society (1989), which I personally feel is one of the most charismatic and inspirational onscreen characters. And Robin Williams did such a great job, srsly. How did he not win an Oscar is beyond me.

FUCKKKKK DUDE, WHY DO I KEEP DIGRESSING! STOP IT!

So I stumbled upon this blog entitled ‘What I Wore...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:20:00 +1100

So I stumbled upon this blog entitled ‘What I Wore Today… in drawings” and was instantly hooked. I mean, we have fashion blogs and street-style photo blogs and The Satorialist (who just went to Melbourne and FUCK FUCK WHY AM I HERE) and a whole myriad of other types of fashion citizen journalism … so this illustration blog is such a breath of fresh air. :)

Drawings by other artists:

(via What I Wore Today Flickr page)

I’d try to participate in the project if I could actually draw something beyond the realm of stick figures with clothes on. -_- The one time I passed Art in primary school was when Mum made my art folio for me, complete with tie-around string, a huge professional drawing of Bugs Bunny and a little latch to keep it shut. On hindsight, it was pretty fucking obvious that the folio wasn’t crafted by the hands of a chubby nine-year-old girl. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get the A.

tumbledore: Yann Tiersen performing “Comptine D’un Autre Été,...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:54:08 +1100

tumbledore:

Yann Tiersen performing “Comptine D’un Autre Été, L’après-Midi” from the Amelie soundtrack on six iPhones

One of the most amazing things I’ve seen today. Coming from one of my favourite composers AND one of my favourite movies (even though 99.78% of the indie elitist fuckface population likes it too), this video just makes me so happy I could weep tears of arousal.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuudes, the sneak peeks of the Rodarte for Target...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:39:00 +1100

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuudes, the sneak peeks of the Rodarte for Target collection have thoroughly impressed me. A well cut denim jacket for USD40?! A navy lace and tulle skirt for only USD25? Super fucking awesome lace tights for only USD13? A black lace cardigan for only USD30?! WHAT IS THIS! WHY IS TARGET TRYING TO PISS ME OFF BY RELEASING THE COLLECTION ON A DATE WHEN I’M NOT EVEN IN FUCKING MELBOURNE GODDAMNIT WHY WHY WHY?!

(via The Orange County Register)

The model used in the lookbook is seriously buang to the maximum (she kinda looks like Cher … in the 2000s) but other than that, I AM IN LOVE. Have always been interested in the Mulleavy sisters and their work, especially after I read that their style muse of 2009 was Tavi (aka Style Rookie), which just got me hooked because if this pair of high-end designer sisters can be down-to-earth enough to call a 13-year-old blogger (albeit a pretty fucking genius one) a muse, then I’m on board! Also, it was reallllly love at first sight when I saw the Rodarte Knitted Tights on Tavi’s blog in Jan so I’ve just made the decision to blow SGD30 on a pair of Topshop Rodarte-inspired knitted tights for super kickass leg-layering.

Anyway, fuck being back in Singapore. When it comes to shopping, my determination and persistence never fail to amaze me. So … Dec 20th is going to arrive to the sight of me staring intently at the computer screen, my fingers on the ready to click on the BUY ME, I’M AWESOME buttons YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH especially the fucking bitchslapping (in a 100% awes way) Sequin Rib Cage Dress for only USD49.99 I WANT I WANT I WAAAAAANT. *Cue drunken stumbling around Chinatown. I WANNNNT. I WAAAANT. I WANT.

"Oy, what’s that Indian festival of poking yourself? Sam Pu Thai?"

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:03:24 +1100

“Oy, what’s that Indian festival of poking yourself? Sam Pu Thai?”

- Law (is just too good).

Bullllllllllllllletproof

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:10:00 +1100

Soundbite: Dystopia (Midnight Juggernauts)

Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn. I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.

- Charles Bukowski, author of Hollywood, Ham on Rye and Post Office

I find this fucking fascinating because I personally have never heard of any analogy that compared drinking to such a heavy topic like suicide. -_- And then what’s even better is that after you’ve read it thrice and allowed it to sink in, the quote actually makes a fucking whole lot of sense.

The arbituary rule

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 15:14:00 +1100

Soundbite: Animal (B. Rich Remix) (Knowlton Walsh)

Something feels a bit off about being home. :/ When I walked into my house, I was assailed by feelings of unfamiliarity, loss and confusion … not so much on the happiness bit. And then it was all made worse by the fact that I could only have one cigarette in 12 hours, and that nearly killed me. Even Mum commented on my grumpiness, after which I felt so bad so I ended up staying up till six a.m. Melbourne time watching a movie with her on HBO instead of sleeping or even unpacking.

I just need some time to adjust. Hope it won’t take too long.

I don't want to lose that view

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 09:29:32 +1100

Soundbite: Switchblade (Heartsrevolution)

Couldn’t have asked for a better last night. :D With the company of Anne, Shawn, Johnny and the kittehz, we is be havin’ tons of fun! Anne left early, but the three of us ended up watching movies and Family Guy and talking about thought-provoking topics until fuckin’ 5.45 in the a.m. and now I’m regretting not going home sooner because I’m tired as fuck but can’t sleep anyway because I still have to finish packing.

Whoa, that left me mentally out of breath. :/

I’m really eggcited about going home, but fuck I’ll miss my life here so so so so bad too.

Vote for happy trips!

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 12:27:00 +1100

(via Erowid and DoseNation)

We’ve had Obama dildos, Obama iced lollies, Obama speeches remixed into chart-topping songs, etc. And now, we also have Obama Ecstasy pills and LSD blotter tabs.

YES, WE CAN get high!

(via luckyduct’s etsy shop) This Pacman Ring series in...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 23:07:00 +1100

(via luckyduct’s etsy shop)

This Pacman Ring series in Sterling Silver and Black Onyx might be one of the cutest ring sets I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And do you know how badly I want it?

Bad enough to walk out to the street, strip naked, whip a knife out, carve someone’s heart out, boil it in soup and serve it for dinner tomorrow. Yessss, that’s how much I want the set.

You're always in my head

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:20:00 +1100

Soundbite: Turn Me On (Denis the Menace & Jerry Ropera Mix) (Dirty Old Ann)

It feels really strange being one of the last few left in Melbourne when I was always one of the first to fly from Perth the moment the holidays began. Darren just left yesterday and it only really sank in after Brenton and I grabbed a cab from Shawn’s early this morning and I dropped him off first. Being alone in that cab at some obscure hour in the morning … it was just weird.

But it’s nice to have some alone time. My first two weeks in Singapore are already brimming with plans to attend this event and hang out with these people and have dinner with my family and look for internship and and and AND AND AND nnghz cannot cannot I need to rest and masturbate and not see anybody for a while, thanks. :/

Anyway, for those of you who aren’t on my Facebook, here’re some Melbourne Sexpo 2009 photos:

Hahahahahahhahahahahahah that last photo is just classic. LOVE IT. And we got to see Jenna Haze in the flesh at Sexpo! Imagine that, a real porn star. :D She’s so small in real life eh, fuck. Guess it’s true when they say that the camera adds five pounds to your body. :/ Looks like I should never ever appear onscreen then.

I should finish up my packing so I won’t have to rush at all on Saturday. -_- So far, it’s five small boxes, one large box and counting. It’s not even funny how much nonsense I can accumulate over a course of 5.25 months, like 37 bags (I BROUGHT 6 HERE) and 25 pairs of shoes (I BROUGHT 8 HERE) and a Mount Everest of clothes. Howwww the fuck am I going to cart all of this back home, SHITE SHITE IN MY PANTS BOB SAGET SHITE!

Snoring is a sure sign of alertness

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:14:00 +1100

(15 minutes into an episode of American Dad, Shawn and I notice that Brenton is fast asleep with his head against a propped pillow and his mouth open. We both then start giggling like little five-year-olds, which wakes Sleeping Beauty up.)
Me: "Brent, do you want to go home?"
Shawn: "Yeh man, I'll call you guys a cab or something."
Brenton: (Blearily) "What? Nah nah man, I was just having a conversation with you guys ... right ..." (Insert more snores)

I WANT THIS PAIR OF BEDAZZLED FAUX SNAKESKIN LOAFERS FROM THE...

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 18:35:56 +1100

I WANT THIS PAIR OF BEDAZZLED FAUX SNAKESKIN LOAFERS FROM THE JIMMY CHOO FOR H&M 2009 FALL/WINTER MEN’S COLLECTION SO BAD THAT I’M WILLING TO CHOP MY CLIT OFF AND DIG MY OVARIES OUT!

(via Fashiontoast)

Because in my world, pretty shoes are much much MUCH more important than sexual pleasure or reproduction.

I was just thinking ...

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:58:10 +1100

… about Singapore, and how things are going to be so different when I get back. Everything about my stay in Melbourne differs so greatly from everything I had in Perth, and these past 5.25 months have really been … … eye-opening would be a severe understatement, so I’m going to go for life-changing. While I’ve most definitely had a megatron ton of fun with people I’ve grown to love almost as much as thick veiny cocks, I’ve also had to get through a really trying point of time in my life and that experience has made me more aware of everything around me.

So I don’t really know what to expect when I get back this coming Saturday. Even though my loved ones in Singapore and I have grown and evolved separately, I do really hope that we’ve all at least travelled in the same direction.

A lazy lazy lazy day

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 22:30:00 +1100

Soundbite: Taken Away (Disco Trash Music Remix) (Digitalism)

Despite everything else that happened later that night, I’ll still have to say that my Thursday was a pretty fucking good one. :)

(via Denise)

My personal favourite joke of the day would have to go to Hello Helen, who is Darren’s long-lost twin sister from NSW HAAHAHAHAHHA I’M STILL LAUGHING NOW HAHAHAHAH DARREN’S IN MY ROOM GOING ALL, “EH DON’T LAH, JULES FUCK YOU!” AND I’M JUST GIGGLING ON MY BED LIKE A DUMBASS AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

So anyway today was another good one in Sexpo. Darren and I were so motherfucking confused at times hahahaha too many cocks and tits and asses all around. Got to see a peepshow performed by the Woman With The World’s Largest Vagina, a half-stripshow (because there were no titties) and one super bloody fucking hot naked guy walking around in only a small black apron. :) Winded up with three vibrators in total, and that’s not including the free one they gave in my VIP showbag. -_-

SO MANY VIBRATORS, WHAT DO I DO??? No matter. Darren will be leaving on the first so that means no more entertainment, so at least now I know what to occupy myself with for the remaining four days before my own departure. :D :D :D :D

It's finally time to try

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 20:14:24 +1100

Soundbite: Evil Nugget (Van Villain Remix) (Aniki)

While yesterday was shiokest to the maximummmmm, today ended up being the total opposite. :/ A long night without a wink of sleep coupled with this afternoon’s complete mess and the hot weather got me so flustered and frustrated and angry that I think I was pretty close to tears while standing in the middle of Berwick station.

And motherfucker, the people in Melbourne do get weirder as you get further away from the city. More and more hobos and dodgy guys with shifty eyes started boarding the train as we neared the end of the line, and I was so tired that I became fucking paranoid and ended up moving two carriages down. -_-

I think I’m finally losing it now. Time for sleep.

Dear Secret Santa,

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:54:58 +1100

Of everything in the world that SGD50 can buy, I’d particularly like you to purchase either one or two or three … or maybe four? … or perhaps even six? of these here following items:

1. BOOKLIST! J. G. Ballard’s Crash, Kurt Vonnegut’s Welcome To The Monkey House or Philip K. Dick’s Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said or Ubik (or any other book you think might catch my fancy, preferably collections of short stories)
2. A good pair of in-ear earphones would be great, because I’ve just ruined mine (NOTE: They have to be symmetrical because I fucking hate those that go behind your neck nnghz)
3. FIFTY ONE-DOLLAR MAN WHORES CONSPERM I WANT OOOH WHHEEE!
4. This pair of String Lace Tights from Topshop
5. Fringe: The Complete First Season, just so I can finally catch up after episode 5 :/
6. A large dildo the size of my one breast
7. I’m sorry but I have to have this The Office Stanley Bobblehead please please please I beg of you please I cry I cry I weep I plead please!
8. Lifetime membership to bigsausagepizza
9. The Hercules and Love Affair album
10. Anything from this section (NSFW)

By the way, this not just applies to the Annual CBCO Secret Santa Exchange, but to all other kind souls out there who’re just looking to lend a hand. :) Email me for my postal address, no problem.

You can't stop us rat-tat-tat-tat!

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:25:00 +1100

Soundbite: Love You Much Better (The Hush Sound)

So …. GUESS WHO’S HEREEEEEEEE?

Disgusting pig. -_- But yeeeeeesssshhhhhhh, after months of negotiating and arguing and wanting to punch him in the face but not being able to because I’m in Melbourne while he’s in Sydney, Baby Dan is finally here and it’s been siiiiiiiiiiiiick. :) It’s just really really awesome to hang out with him again; harks back to the days we’d spend chatting while doing our laundry then foraging for food in each other’s flat. :)

We went out to St Kilda Beach before Shawn’s graduate exhibition (blog about that later, plenty of pictures!) yesterday for some sun, fresh air and half naked people. Had a custard scroll from Baker’s Delight which was sooooooooooo fucking good, but walking in the warm sun while trying to eat the damned thing neatly is nearly impossible. By the fifth bite, I pretty much looked like Ron Jeremy had creampied all over my mouth.

We also collected my Giant Vintage sunglasses on the way back home from the York Street post office and it is MOTHERFUCKING DODGY. The South Melbourne tram stop itself looks like a hive of criminal activities, even when it was near empty. :/ But eh, my sunglasses are fantabulous. The tortoise-shell framed ones are a little too big so I’ll have to get them resized asap but the raver ones … absolute beaut. :) Baby Dan thinks they’re a little too much but that’s precisely what I’m going for so FUCK Y’ALL, DON’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY BECAUSE I KNOW YOU THINK I’M HOT.

Don’t know what’s up with my fringe today but eh eh eh, nice right! And for only USD12 each plus free worldwide shipping till 30 November, I say it’s one motherfucking tops deal and I love it.

Think we’re just going to chill out and stone around in our pyjamas today. :) Excellent. Now I can catch up on my Google Reader and emails. Reply you all soon!

Stop right now, tyvmuch

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:13:00 +1100

Soundbite: So There I Was (Deadmau5)

Decided to haul my ass out to Richmond Salvos yesterday for some treasure hunting and ended up blowing AUD35 there. And for second-hand clothing in a Salvos, that’s quite a lot. But I got two awesome vintage dresses, one motherfucking kickass jacket AND THE GREATEST BAG IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD!

Am so vehhh hairpee lehzzzz. :) Love the pale coral colour of the box bag, love the fact that it’s big enough to hold A LOT, love the short sling so it’s more like a posh hand carry, JUST LOVE IT. And I’m melting over the maple leaf buttons on the sweater, it runs down the length like that but the buttons get smaller and it’s simply perfect!

I. HEART. CHEAP. SHOPPING. It makes me want to spontaneously combust into fierce showers of cum.

God, I’m such a lazy cunt though. Was supposed to head down to St Kilda to pick up my sunglasses and maybe check out the Carlisle Street Salvos on the way home, but noooo I woke up at 2p.m. and decided to fuck all my plans to go out. -_- Much happier in the comfort of my own room where I can walk around half naked anyway, and I’ve also decided to try my hand at a DIY project I’ve been keeping tabs on for some time.

I can only hope that everything will go according to plan. It’s a pretty fucking big risk to take, especially on a Nobody dress I was so proud to have gotten on sale wait stop wait panic panic panic stop wait heart attack panic why am I doing this again?

Wish me luck!