One super fat bottomed girl.

Disembodied deejays clapping to the beat

Soundbite: Claymore (Joe & Will Ask?)

GAIZ SRSLY U HV 2 LISTEN 2 JOE & WILL ASK? DEY R DA BEZZ FARKING HELL I LUB DEM SEW MUCH DAT I CAN’T EVEN SPELL PROPERLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

To emphasise just how awes this London electro/techno duo drops their shit, I’m putting up one of my favourite tracks for all to download and experience multiple aural orgasms. Remember, right-click+save horzzzz: Listen to Mongozo! here.

Anyway, some long overdue photos taken at random:

Well, I’m finally done for the semester. Even submitting The Essay Of Death was a bitch because our printer ran out of ink so I had to run to the Pick&Save downstairs, where it cost me AUD4.30 to print 14 pages. Then I had to run to school, because submission deadline was at 5.30p.m. and I’d left Pick&Save at 6.15. -_- Oh, and did I mention that I’d accidentally spilled water on my phone earlier in the day so for the rest of the evening, my phone FUCKED ME IN THE ANUS and I couldn’t type SHIT.

Exciting way to end the semester, I think. Running about here and there, might’ve even lost some weight in the frantic process! (Note to self: Highly unlikely; please stop living a lie in which every movement you make causes you to lose 17,000 calories, thanks.) And yeh, my phone suddenly decided to resume working halfway through the night. Love my BB Bold, it’s done nothing to upset me in its entire year’s worth of service. Who’d ever choose a shitty, common and too-slick-for-its-own-good iPhone when you can have the class and sophistication that automatically comes with a BB Bold? Hand the phone to a homeless man and I guarantee you, that hobo will magically transform into a lean, muscular, chiseled God of a man in all his naked glory. :) Or … he’ll just run away with your phone.

So I’m just going to sleep now. These past few days have brought with them a lot for me to think about, and my brain is just so exhausted right now. G’night, world.

Dum dah dee dum

Also, you know you’re definitely homesick x6458945267298727985 when you reach the end of blog entries about Singapore (like this one about Lady Melbourne’s recent trip down) and find yourself either a) near tears or b) suddenly missing everything there is about Singapore. :/ I got both for a while, during a break from The Essay Of Death, so I must be homesick to the power of 6458945267298727985 + another 1million more multiples.

To add more fuel to the goddamn raging fire, my essay is entitled Violent Pornography and its social effects on Singaporean heterosexual males so everything I’ve seen from about 2p.m. (time I started the essay) till 11p.m. (time I finished the essay, 1,500 words too long) has been about Singapore.

Except these SUPER FUCKING ADORABLE BOOTS WHICH I KNOW I AM TOTALLY GETTING.

I’ve been staring at them for the longest time, constantly going back to the bookmarked page to decide if I really ought to get it or not. The AUD80 price tag is highly tempting yet I don’t want to compromise my shopping ethics because years ago (before I became this ultimate budget shopper), after making a disastrous purchase when Topshop first opened in Singapore, I’d swore never to buy anything on full retail price and/or above 60 bucks. And I’ve been quite proud of my strict adherence to the rule - the most I’ve EVER spent on anything I wear was AUD49, on a vintage dress from Currency in Fitzroy. So … this has been quite a dilemma that I’ve had to juggle, along with a ju-llion (Fat Jules + 1 trillion = 1 jullion) sentences about degrading pornography and necrophilia and bizarro sexual fetishes running across my brain.

But I’m going to buy it. Come pretty baby, you will soon be mine.

Time to cut 1,500 words out. Anyone wants to do it for me? I promise a free bj.

Doing work in your panties is liberating as hell

Soundbite: Radio Controlled (Zombie Nation)

Downloaded some preeeeeeeetty fuckin’ top mixes the other night. Am in the midst of sorting through them now, but I’ll put up a couple of good ones here soonish. Lemme wade through this murky sea of assignments first, plzkthnx. :/ Srsly too much work eh, my brain is bursting. Just finished my Eyewitness Ethics essay (hip hip hurrahx3) and I can’t even get a fucking break because I’ve still got to redo the development editing assignment which I got 50% for HAHAHAHAAHAH behold my first ever grade below a Distinction in the past three years. Yes, I really am was quite a nerd.

Haven’t been out in the sunlight much in the past few days due to the assignment rush. :( Arthur had only managed to drag me out on Saturday and I was in such a good mood, dressing up for the warm weather and shopping (got some awesome biscotti for cheap and new storage boxes for my growing-at-mutant-rate jewellery collection) and sitting at the city library grass patch with passionfruit sorbet in hand and generally just enjoying being out. It’s ridiculous. I’ve cooped myself up to the extent that I actually miss being amongst … plebians. -_- Wow. This has been a new low for me, ladies and gentlemen.

Am just looking forward to the end of the month. Assignment rush will be over, I can start leisurely looking for a job, waking up at 4p.m. will not cause feelings of guilt and contrition to arise … sounds good to me.

Anyway, because I r procrasinat0rz (though not as bad as Tham, tsktsk), I just thought to looked through General Pants Co.’s site and fuckkk, they do carry some really siiick stuff. Was particularly interested in the sunglasses, prolly because summer’s coming and I feel the need to shield my enchanting, hypnotic eyes.

Colab - Corbu [AUD199]


Sabre - Die Hippy (in Tort) [AUD139.95]


Sabre/The Cassette Society Collaboration [AUD149.95]


Sabre - The Dude (in Yellow Flower) [AUD139.95]

(via General Pants Co.)

Not bad eh? Am very much feeling the Corbu and The Dude in Yellow Flower … … … and especially crushing on the latter. Aaaarggghhh look at the floral print on the frames and the contrasting vibrant blue underside ahhhhhhhh how can you stand not buying this kdhrgkanuivna!1!11!

Oh yes. The price tag. Thanks for raining on my parade. :9

Anyway, so I then moved on to checking out Sabre’s website and daaaaaaaaaa-yuuummm, they’ve got some pretty fuckin’ sweet shit in stock. I’d like to meet their designers and give them each a nice sloppy kiss on the forehead because some of their sunglasses are pure genius, like omfgmypantiesarewet type of genius.

(via Sabre)

(Clockwise from top left: Poolside in Zebra, Madness in Black with interchangeable white and teal arms, Poolside in Checkers and Bikini Kill in Teal and Clear.)

Looks like I have a thing for teal, must be Min’s influence. Spending a year with her yelling in your ear about how teal is such an awesome colour must’ve conditioned me into favouring it as well.

Okay yeh, fuck. What was supposed to be a short update spiralled into some online shopping-enabler post. Don’t read my blog, kids! I’m the devil to your bank accounts! :( Back to work now. Sienzzzzzzzzz.

My head, eyes, shoul- my entire body is a hurtz

It’s 7.34 in the morning.

The sun is shining brightly, a couple of rays sneaking through some misty clouds.

The trains, trams and buses have started their routes.

The night’s silence is shattered by the blaring radio clocks of working Melbournians.

After 24 hours of intermittently doing bits of work and occupying myself with other distractions, I have finally completed my goddamn fucking shitty wok essay. Finally, I can have that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup I’d placed in front of me for motivation. (You can now probably hear me publicly mourn the end of my crazy weight-loss schemes as I tearfully accept my own flobby body.) Finally, I can smoke my Mother Theresa, which I’d placed next to me to push me even further.

Finally, it’s over.

WHATTHEFUCK YEHHH YAYYY OHMYGOD I SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE IT YAYYYY- zzz.

P.S. I’m so over the moon that I can’t even process the fact that I have three assignments due next week, two of which are fucking major like Peter North’s-penis-size major. :/