About tehz princess



My name is Jules and I'm an incorrigible fatteh.
I like movies, serial killers, Daniel Craig, ankle booties, pornography, thrifting and dresses.
Am also a freelance writer/copywriter/editor.

Buy me something for Christmas, please?

Contact me at suckeggs@gmail.com anytime,
but ask a stupid question and I'll punch you.

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29 November 09
I WANT THIS PAIR OF BEDAZZLED FAUX SNAKESKIN LOAFERS FROM THE JIMMY CHOO FOR H&M 2009 FALL/WINTER MEN’S COLLECTION SO BAD THAT I’M WILLING TO CHOP MY CLIT OFF AND DIG MY OVARIES OUT! (via Fashiontoast) Because in my world, pretty shoes are much much MUCH more important than sexual pleasure or reproduction.

I WANT THIS PAIR OF BEDAZZLED FAUX SNAKESKIN LOAFERS FROM THE JIMMY CHOO FOR H&M 2009 FALL/WINTER MEN’S COLLECTION SO BAD THAT I’M WILLING TO CHOP MY CLIT OFF AND DIG MY OVARIES OUT!


(via Fashiontoast)

Because in my world, pretty shoes are much much MUCH more important than sexual pleasure or reproduction.

30 October 09

Dum dah dee dum

Also, you know you’re definitely homesick x6458945267298727985 when you reach the end of blog entries about Singapore (like this one about Lady Melbourne’s recent trip down) and find yourself either a) near tears or b) suddenly missing everything there is about Singapore. :/ I got both for a while, during a break from The Essay Of Death, so I must be homesick to the power of 6458945267298727985 + another 1million more multiples.

To add more fuel to the goddamn raging fire, my essay is entitled Violent Pornography and its social effects on Singaporean heterosexual males so everything I’ve seen from about 2p.m. (time I started the essay) till 11p.m. (time I finished the essay, 1,500 words too long) has been about Singapore.

Except these SUPER FUCKING ADORABLE BOOTS WHICH I KNOW I AM TOTALLY GETTING.

I’ve been staring at them for the longest time, constantly going back to the bookmarked page to decide if I really ought to get it or not. The AUD80 price tag is highly tempting yet I don’t want to compromise my shopping ethics because years ago (before I became this ultimate budget shopper), after making a disastrous purchase when Topshop first opened in Singapore, I’d swore never to buy anything on full retail price and/or above 60 bucks. And I’ve been quite proud of my strict adherence to the rule - the most I’ve EVER spent on anything I wear was AUD49, on a vintage dress from Currency in Fitzroy. So … this has been quite a dilemma that I’ve had to juggle, along with a ju-llion (Fat Jules + 1 trillion = 1 jullion) sentences about degrading pornography and necrophilia and bizarro sexual fetishes running across my brain.

But I’m going to buy it. Come pretty baby, you will soon be mine.

Time to cut 1,500 words out. Anyone wants to do it for me? I promise a free bj.

20 October 09

Stabbed in the heart with a stiletto

Soundbite: Sweet And Tender Hooligan (The Smiths)

I’ve been following Jeffrey Campbell’s collections for a while now and while it’s really quite popular amongst fashion bloggers, it hasn’t really exploded amongst mainstream fashionistas yet. And that’s just stupid, because his shoes are … I have no words. Oh my god, I have no words. How can I not have words to describe JC shoes?






(via SoleStruck)

They are just … perfection for your feet. Even if you have feet that look like something out of LOLClits.com, putting on a JC pair of shoes will instantly make them resemble Cinderella’s dainty little tootsies. It’s like adorning your feet with the sparkling wings of an angel and the shimmering magic of a pink fairy unicorn princess.

The shoes are so gorgeous that I actually feel a tiny bit aroused. Could this be … a shoe-gasm? *Gasps in excitement fill the crowded ballroom.

I don’t know why I’m even looking at JC footwear when what I really ought to be doing is studying. But no … the procrastinator inside of me is constantly winning the fights between actually starting on my essay and the wondrous world that is the Internet. :/ Curse you, Trend Hunter, and your selectively good eye for all the latest in the realm of the aesthetically-pleasing! *Shakes fist uselessly.

Tags: shoes fashion
14 October 09
Herrowww vintage Enzo Angiolini lace up boots. Aren’t you a sexy one, huh? And even though you’re half a size too big for me, I don’t care! I will wear thick socks from Timberland if I have to. You’re just so pretty, with your brown-grey colouring and distressed leather exterior. By the way, check out Retro Lane on etsy right now or I swear to God, you will regret it. So I went to school, had my second last class of the semester. Zoned out through the entire three hours, though I think I did pretty well for the presentation. Got a 50% for my developmental editing assignment, am considering whether I ought to resubmit it. :/ My first ever P. God, it’s getting me even more depressed than I thought. And then I came home, logged on, checked my email, looked through Facebook a little, read some blogs … and now I’m here. Where is my life leading towards? It’s the last day of school tomorrow, and I’ve got nothing planned to commemorate the end of my first semester in Melbourne. It’s like my life is completely uneventful and it’s all my lazy self’s fault. Oh jesus, pre-mid-life crisis? Not now, thank you!

Herrowww vintage Enzo Angiolini lace up boots. Aren’t you a sexy one, huh? And even though you’re half a size too big for me, I don’t care! I will wear thick socks from Timberland if I have to. You’re just so pretty, with your brown-grey colouring and distressed leather exterior.

By the way, check out Retro Lane on etsy right now or I swear to God, you will regret it.

So I went to school, had my second last class of the semester. Zoned out through the entire three hours, though I think I did pretty well for the presentation. Got a 50% for my developmental editing assignment, am considering whether I ought to resubmit it. :/ My first ever P. God, it’s getting me even more depressed than I thought. And then I came home, logged on, checked my email, looked through Facebook a little, read some blogs … and now I’m here.

Where is my life leading towards? It’s the last day of school tomorrow, and I’ve got nothing planned to commemorate the end of my first semester in Melbourne. It’s like my life is completely uneventful and it’s all my lazy self’s fault.

Oh jesus, pre-mid-life crisis? Not now, thank you!

10 October 09
Really really really really want the AA Unisex Hartwick Skimmer Shoe in Black Patent Leather or Khaki. Moreover, AA Australia’s on a 20% off everything! sale so the little devil on my right shoulder’s screaming and wailing and beating me down with a spiked baseball bat, pleading me to buy that gorgeous pair of heaven. Goddamnit, little devil Jules. :(

Really really really really want the AA Unisex Hartwick Skimmer Shoe in Black Patent Leather or Khaki. Moreover, AA Australia’s on a 20% off everything! sale so the little devil on my right shoulder’s screaming and wailing and beating me down with a spiked baseball bat, pleading me to buy that gorgeous pair of heaven.

Goddamnit, little devil Jules. :(

13 April 09

And I jizzed in my pants.

God hates me.


Aldo Wilhelmy (From Park & Cube)

And that is why he created the idea of cut-out ankle boots with soft leather, buckles and flat heels, dropped it into the brain of some designer who HAPPENS to be working for Aldo which priced it at fucking 99 pounds. And I still can’t afford it, even with the shitty not-really-a-sale sale. -_- But I am a firm believer in trend-filtering, which leads me to the assumption that somewhere out there in the vast world, there has to be SOMEONE who has created a knockoff of this pair of goddesses. So I’m going to find it, weep happy tears over it and make it mine.

Am also open to contributions or donations from benevolent strangers.